Gratefuls are coming

I have several gratefuls in the works but have not had everything I need to post them.

Rest assured, they are on the way.

In no particular order, and coming soon to a computer near you:

Growing up in NYC
Extended family
Parents
My JOBS
My church
and others...

Stay tuned...

Today's grateful (11/16/10)

Today's grateful is a brand new one.

Today, I am grateful for my husband's brand new job.

See, the last two days have been horrible.  My two youngest have both had fevers of 103.5.  They have been listless, miserable, sleepless, exhausted, coughy, vomity, in pain, and sad.  Thomas, especially, has been in a lot of pain, with a sore throat so painful that it hurts even to swallow.  My babies have been so clingy, only wanting comfort.  It's been extraordinarily challenging just to use the restroom.

Which makes me very, very sad (and exhausted).  The hardest part of parenthood is watching your children suffer and being helpless to stop it from happening.

And to top it all off, Michael started a new job a little over a week ago, so naturally he (and I fully agree) wants to make a good impression.  It would not look good to take time off when he's only been there for a week.

But his supervisor, upon hearing that his babies were so sick, made an exception for this brand-new employee.  They gave him work to take home (which is not officially allowed) because they said, "family comes first."

I have never been so grateful to a company in my entire life.

Today's Grateful (11/15/10)

I'm gonna keep this short and sweet because it's been a long night with two sick little boys.

That being said, I'm grateful for autumn.  It's my favorite season of all.

I love the harvest of September.

I love the newness of a new school year with all of the excitement and refreshment of getting back to a schedule.

I love the resplendent colors of changing leaves.

I love the crunch of leaves under my feet.

I love the crispness in the air.

I love that a cozy sweater is the perfect amount of additional clothing.

I love Halloween and Thanksgiving.

I love the first smells of wood-burning fireplaces.

I love freshly picked Honey Crisp apples.

I love hot cocoa and herbal tea weather.

I love fall so much that I decorated my first floor in its most prominent colors without even realizing that I was doing so.

I just love fall...
most of all.

Today's Grateful (11/14/10)

Tonight, I have a little two-year old with a fever of 103.6.

So tonight, I am thoroughly grateful for the wonders and availability of modern medicine in this country.

And...

for the grocery stores and drug stores that are open 24 hours for the purchase of medicine, soup, and pretzels (that make sick little boys drink more).

for the Tylenol and Ibuprofen that allow us to bring his fever down, make him more comfortable, and giving us far better odds than those who lived even 100 years ago.

for the tubed oxygen that, without which, both Thomas and Max would certainly have died at birth.


for the pulse oximeters that allowed us to know how long they needed to stay on extra oxygen.

for the suctioning device that made it possible for Max to heal from RSV not even a year ago.

for the CT Scan that diagnosed my pulmonary emboli.

for the interventions that helped my mom outlive her prognosis by three and a half years.

for the doctors, nurses, radiologists, lab techs, janitors, pharmacists, and all others who keep hospitals running and who care about the experience that each patient has while facing their mortality.

for the pioneers of medicine who made this all possible.

Tonight I am grateful that I can care for my feverish little boy.  And I pray that the time will come that each person, no matter what nation they live in, will be able to say the same about their own children.

P.S. Four hours after writing this my 11 month old popped a 103 fever as well.  And I am even more grateful for Tylenol than I was when I wrote this.

Today's grateful (11/13/2010)

These women:

Are not related to me.


Inspire me daily.
Humble me because of their own humility.
Give graciously to the world around them.
Amaze me with their talents, hearts, and kindnesses.
Set an AMAZING example for me.
Teach me to be a better mom, friend, wife, and person.


And some of them

don't


even


know it.

Today's grateful (11/12/10) posted a day late

My daughter met her best friend, Kami, while they were both in Mrs. Richard's fourth grade class.  They are now in 11th grade together.  Their friendship is more of a sisterhood, and Kami is a second daughter to me.

 

 

Kami has grown into a beautiful young woman, both inside and out.  It has been my joy and pleasure to watch her grow into herself.  In the past year, I have watched her blossom - her confidence has increased, she has become a more centered young woman, and as a result, she is absolutely ready and willing to stand up for what she believes in.

What really makes me grateful for Kami though, is her heart.  She shares so much of herself with the people she loves.  She is not afraid to give me her opinion on what's normal for a teenage girl and what is not.  She's not afraid to tell me when I need to give my daughter space.  And she's not afraid to tell Frankie when she needs to buck up and do what's right.

She also loves my little ones.  And they love her too.  Every time someone comes to the door,  Thomas starts saying her name, hoping it's her.  He talks about her at random times.  "Kah-mee", as he calls her in his husky little voice, is his first little crush.  And there's a reason for that - she's good to him.  He will run up to her and kiss her more often than he is willing to run up and kiss me.

Kami has a beautiful spirit.  She genuinely wants to help people.  From being the go-between for my daughter's first relationship, to helping Frankie do her hair for special events, to helping me clean my kitchen (what teenager does that?), to babysitting and playing with my kids, she has been a lifesaver for us time and time again.  In fact, even as I type she's getting ready to come over and babysit so we can work together as a family to clean.

I am so excited to watch her continue to travel on the beautiful path she is on.  I'm looking forward to watching her future unfold.  And I am grateful, so grateful, that she is my daughter's truest friend.  These girls are what my mother used to call naked souls.  They know each other as who they really are - with the pressures of the world stripped away.  They know each other by heart.  And I truly hope that they will remain BFF because there's really nothing like those people who knew you when. 

P.S. I couldn't be grateful for Kami without also being grateful for her mother, Beth.  Beth has molded so much of who Kami is, largely, just by example.  They have an ideal mother-daughter relationship-- not without bumps or hiccups, still very real, but ideal in all the ways that count.  Beth and her husband Tony have big, kind hearts.  And I am thankful to them for raising this daughter who impacts our lives in ways beyond measure.

Today's grateful (11/11/10)

It's impossible to imagine that this little girl:

turns 17 next month.

My daughter may have had a bumpy start, but she has always shown an indomitable spirit, even from a young age.  She's always had her own way of doing things and saying things.  It wasn't frozen -- it was "ice melted."  It wasn't inside out -- it was "inside wrong."  Our cat wasn't named Callahan.  He was Callafoot.

I cannot speak to my gratitude about her without speaking about her attitude toward life.  She has always been a sassy girl, and her name fits her perfectly for that reason.  Heaven help the person who tries to get in between her and what she wants to accomplish! 

Frankie is truly a jack of all trades, and she constantly surprises us with her hidden talents.  She loves to knit.  She loves to garden.  She loves to make pretty cupcakes, homemade cards,  and hair flowers.  She is happiest when her hands are engaged in creative endeavors. 


Life would not be the same without her.  Her spark, her spunk, and her voracity for life bring an energy to our home like no other.  The times that we've had to be apart, I have unquestionably felt like our family is incomplete.

I am amazed at how far she has come.  I am amazed at what she has overcome.  Her road is steeper and harder than so many others, but that spirit-- that indomitable spirit is her saving grace.  She has a mountain where many only have a hill, but that girl keeps aiming for the top.  I am so very proud of the beautiful woman she is becoming.  I am so very proud of how hard she is working at changing what she came from into where she wants to go. I am so very honored to be her mom and have the opportunity to guide her and watch her as she learns to spread her wings.

She is truly my butterfly, and she is learning how to make her colors shine.  And I am better for being able to witness her metamorphosis.

Today's grateful (11/10/10)

Michael hoped that Adam would arrive a week earlier than he actually did.  I'd like to pretend that he only wished for that so that he and Adam would share a birthday, but actually Michael was really hoping to deflect some birthday attention from himself.

Didn't work.

Adam James Hooten came into this world on June 13th, 2002 (exactly one week after his dad's 33rd birthday) at 7:01 pm.  He could have been born much earlier in the day but I chose to take a nap rather than make my doctor deliver on his lunch hour.  The nurses actually had to wake me up and tell me it was time to deliver (how I love a good epidural).  Then they had to hold me off because my doctor was stuck in traffic.

Adam made his way into this world kind of quietly (which is ironic because today that kid talks... a lot).  He didn't cry when he was born.  He just kind of looked around and seemed content to be here. 

Being my firstborn, everything Adam did was a new and amazing discovery to me.  Watching his amazed and perplexed face as he pulled tissue after tissue out of the never-ending box is a memory that still brings a smile to my face.  He was addicted to Baby Einstein and we couldn't rewind the tapes fast enough.  When he ate solids for the first few times, he gagged, made a face as though we had poisoned him, and then calmly opened his mouth for more.  His first word was "Please."  He quickly developed a love for pasta (making the Italian side of me very happy), and to this day it is his favorite thing to eat.  He also loves salad, especially what he calls "cute-lettuce salad with nu-lett dressing" (iceberg, cucumbers, oil, vinegar, and salt). 

He is obsessed with Scooby-Doo, Mario, and Yoshi.

Anyone who spends a little time with Adam knows that he's remarkably intelligent.  If you've followed my blog over the years, you've read some pretty funny "Adamisms".  If you haven't already read them, click here, or here, or here (my all time favorite), or here (my second favorite).  There are a few more peppered throughout this blog, but these are some of the most recent, and some of the best.  He has an amazing gift for language, and has had that gift from an awfully young age.  He is also playful, and creative, and goofy, and has so much enthusiasm for life.

Above all, I am grateful for his sweetness.  He is a gentle soul.  He has been in love with the same girl, Bella, since kindergarten.  It is a red letter day at our house when he and Bella have a play date.  He wants to marry her, and has told me so several times.  His devotion astounds me.  His sweet personality extends well beyond his crush though.

He still loves to snuggle, and will think of any reason why he should have to sleep in mommy and daddy's room. It breaks my heart a little to always turn him away because I know that the time will come when I will achingly miss that snuggly little boy.  But I also know that for him to be a healthy man he needs to learn how to sleep in his own bed.

He tries so hard to please his family.  He is remarkably obedient (most of the time), extremely helpful with his brothers, very perceptive about his sister, and rarely complains.  He gets genuinely sad when he feels he doesn't have enough play time with his friends.  He loves people, and is an open little book.  When he was little I had to train him to stop inviting strangers over to our house to play video games.  In fact, at one year old he already knew how to play a snowman bowling game on our computer.  At the time I didn't think it was all that extraordinary that a one-year old knew how to control a mouse.  I know differently now.

I so completely love this boy.  He is an extraordinary little soul with a beyond his years capacity for empathy and kindness.  He constantly surprises and amazes me.  From bringing leaves and flowers to me, to drawing pictures and creating elaborate paper craft gifts for his friends, to jumping for joy for the smallest of treats, I am privileged to watch this boy grow.  I am privileged to be his mommy.  And while I want to freeze him in time and never allow his innocence to dwindle, I am so eager to see what his future brings.  I have no doubt that I will continue to be amazed and astounded by him.

And I am eternally grateful to be his mommy.

Today's Grateful (11/9/10)

I'm sitting here listening to him wailing for daddy (who had the nerve to go to the bathroom).  He sounds as though the world is ending, right now, as I type.  I could hire him out for Irish wakes.  And though I hear this particular sound at least once a day, my little Thomas never fails to make me laugh, smile, and feel very wanted and needed.

A little bit about Thomas:

Thomas John Cazier Hooten was born August 19th, 2008.  He very insistently came into this world five weeks early because, we think, he had a lot to get done and he needed to get started as soon as possible.

He has laughed to himself since the first day he drew breath.  He is an exuberant little boy who has what we affectionately like to call his "man hands."

He is my only Italian looking baby.  I am grateful that I have at least one baby who looks like I may have contributed some of my DNA.

His first word was, "Hi" which makes sense because he happily talks to anyone he meets.  Of course, for the most part, they don't know what he's saying.

He is in LOVE with Blues Clues.  It's the only thing he really wants to watch on TV.  Boo Boo, as he calls it, is his favorite.  He knows all the appropriate hand motions to every song.  He sings all the songs, and he loves Steve.

He loves to play the piano and sing along to his own musical um....compositions (?). 

He loves to talk on the phone.  Most of his conversations are gibberish, peppered with "hi, aye you, (I love you), and bye."

He also loves to jump... on the trampoline, off of the furniture, on daddy.

And he loves to color... on paper, doors, windows, walls, everything.  (which reminds me, as a bonus grateful, I'm grateful for the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser).

He has a propensity for stripping down, even removing his diaper.  And if we don't catch him quickly enough, he deposits said diaper on the dining room table.  (Also grateful for Clorox wipes).

He loves putting on shoes (any shoes), going bye-bye in the car, or to the backyard, and once to the front yard without permission.  We now have protective covers so he can't open the door by himself.  He is one of the children that helps make baby proofing a profitable business.

It only took him about a month to figure out how to scale and vault our safety gate.

He doesn't settle down for naps.  Rather, he just goes and goes until the moment he falls asleep.  I have seen him fall asleep in the oddest of positions.

He is a busy, busy boy.

He said his first clear, full sentence last week.  It was, "I need to go bye-bye."  I responded with, "You need to go bye-bye?"  He nodded his head and said, "A Sas-ee." (which means either and/or with Max).  "You need to go bye-bye with Max?" "No," he said, "With Daddy."

He is a joy and a wonder to watch.  I love his little fishy face kisses, his knock me over hugs, and his obsession with his bum-bum.  I love how when you call his name, he responds with a long, drawn-out, "Yeeessshhh?"

He insists on calling me, "Mom" even though I always refer to myself as "Mommy."

When asked, he will accurately tell you what cars and monkeys say, but thinks it's very funny when I ask him what a cat says, and he emphatically responds with "cat."

He has so much to say and I understand very little of it.  But it is getting clearer and clearer by the day, which is amazing to witness.

He is that boy who will probably end up with more broken bones than all of my other children put together.  He is fearless (except when it comes to sitting on the potty-- that's scary).  He is tender.  He is snuggly, and mischievous, and very, very two.

He just came in to hug me, say goodnight, and drool on me a little.  He melts my heart.

And I am very, very grateful to be his mommy.  And I can't wait to see what adventures lie ahead.

And he is still laughs... a LOT.  I hope someday he will let me in on what's so funny, but I have a feeling I just might not really want to know. :-)

Today's Grateful (11/8/10) It's only natural

It's only natural that today's grateful would be about my children.  It would be impossible though, to do them justice by lumping them all together.

So tonight, it will be youngest first, born December 1, 2009. Tonight's grateful is my little Max.

Today, Max clapped for the very first time. He's clapped knuckles before, but this was the full on joyous, open-handed, making noise first clap of his entire life. He was so pleased with himself, it made him clap even harder.  It was such an exciting moment that Thomas joined the ovation.  Adam and I were compelled to follow.

Max has been such an amazing blessing.  He's a mostly cheerful baby with a knack for screaming the second mommy or daddy gets on the phone.  He has the cutest little toothy grin. He's got beautiful blue eyes with just the right amount of sparkle.

And he is so snuggly.  He loves to climb mommy's or daddy's leg and cling on like a little monkey until he gets picked up.  He likes to examine my teeth and gums with his oft-sharp nails.  He loves to have one of us hold a hand to his mouth while he vocalizes so he can make a "whooping" sound.  And he delights in returning the favor to us.  And when I run my fingers through his hair, his eyes can't help but close in sheer delight.  He loves all of his siblings, but he has an extraordinary bond with Thomas.

He LOVES Thomas.  And Thomas loves him right back.

My mornings start with one of these two little boys earnestly seeking the other.  If Thomas gets up first, he looks for Max.  The second he makes eye contact, he delightfully squeals. "A  Sass-ee" (how he says Max).  Max responds in kind with a coo of delight.  It is a beautiful way to start my day.

It is a gift to watch this baby grow.  My heart always gladdens and my smile always widens when I watch his cutie little bottom crawling away from me.  The world is wonderfully, perfectly still when he falls asleep on my chest and I run my fingers through his sleep-sweated hair.  I love watching him learn how to stand, and scoot, and discover his voice.  He already knows how to shake his head, "No," which amazes me to no end.  He loves to chew on paper and just about anything else he can get in his mouth.

I am in love with his big blue eyes, his six little teeth, and the grin which (just like his brother Adam's did when he was a baby) takes up half of his face.  I am in love with how very much this little soul is in love with me.

The heart's capacity for love and growth amazes me.  Parenthood is one of the greatest gifts that God has given us, His children.  It helps us to understand just a little bit of what it must feel like for Him to watch over each of us.

I am beyond grateful that He entrusted me with this perfect little gift from heaven.  I am beyond grateful for this little soul.  I am a lucky, lucky woman to be his mommy.  And I am grateful for all of the people in my life who help me to be a better mom.  But that's a grateful for another day.

Today's Grateful (11/7/10)

This man:

Takes amazing care of me.
Rubs my feet even if they don't hurt.
Waits for me to fall asleep first because he knows that if he falls asleep first, I can't fall asleep second because he snores too loudly.
Pretends I don't snore.
Makes dinner for me...a lot (and he's an excellent sous chef too).
Puts up with me even when I don't want to put up with me.
Keeps me anchored.
Is my safe place.
Loves me and accepts me for who I am.
Makes me feel loved, wanted, appreciated, and desired.
Tells me I'm beautiful.
Changes diapers.
 Takes the kids out so I can have a quiet hour.
Is an involved father.
Lets me nap on weekends.
Knits blankets for our children
Keeps me sane.

And for many, many, many other reasons he is my grateful for today.

Because I don't know how I would do any of this without him.

He is the love of my forever, my split apart, my voice of reason.

I don't have adequate words for how grateful I am to my Father in Heaven for the gift of this man in my life

every

single

day.

Aunt Eileen

When I was a child, my extended family was a very important part of my life.  I spent many weekends with my Aunt Eileen (my mother's sister), Uncle Joe (my mother's brother), and Great-Aunt Flo (my father's aunt, and yes, that's her real name, and no, I don't mean that special monthly gift).  As I got older, for many reasons, I saw less and less of them.  By the time I was a teenager, I hardly saw them at all.  Yet, each of these people holds a very dear place in my heart.

My Aunt Eileen taught me to call children, "sweetie." She introduced me to chocolate croissants, to the notion that you could be a mom and listen to hip music, and how to play Mille Bornes. 

My Uncle Joe taught me that I would not actually *die* from having a cup of milk with my ham.  He also left me with the indelible memory of the sign on his pool - "Welcome to our ool.  Notice there's no "p" in it.  Let's keep it that way."  And he taught me that Rottweilers can actually be very sweet dogs.

My Aunt Flo taught me to enjoy scrambled eggs with pepperoni in them.  And she taught me fantastic poems such as Annabel Lee and The Pobble Who Has No Toes and the classic, "Poor Little Kristin sitting in the tub.  Her mother forgot to put in the plug.  Oh my goodness, what a shame.  There goes Kristin down the drain."  She was (and is) an amazing source of unconditional love an acceptance in my life.

Each of these beautiful, wonderful, amazing people cared for me, shaped me, set an example for me, and most importantly, loved me.

But as I got older I spent less and less time with them until eventually I hardly saw them at all.  My Aunt Eileen and Uncle Joe had moved to upstate New York, and so we didn't see them all that often.  My Aunt Flo was in Queens, and I spent most of my time as a teenager hanging out with my friends in Brooklyn.  As I grew into a young adult, and got married, I began to feel the lack of these particular people in my life.  But by that time I was living in Chicago, newly married, and not really sure how to go about reconnecting.  So I didn't really try to.

Over the years I thought about them often.  Periodically, I even had conversations with each of them.  When my mom was dying, I saw more of my Aunt Eileen and my Uncle Joe than I had in many years.  That was one of the hardest times of my life, and honestly, it was too emotionally charged to really bring about big changes in these relationships. There were some hurt feelings, and my Aunt and I parted not on bad terms, but not on good terms either.

And then,some seven years later (spring of 2009), something happened.  I found an old family friend who had known my Aunt Eileen when I was a child.  He talked about her sometimes and I started to awaken to a desire to have her in my life.  I didn't know how to go about it though.  A few months ago, I remembered thinking that she might have some family photos and decided to call her and ask her for copies.  I honestly did want copies of the pictures and I hoped (but didn't admit this to myself) that asking for this favor might open a door. 

Asking didn't open a door.  It opened a floodgate.

Ever since my mother died (eight and a half years ago as of this writing) I have had a mom-sized hole in my heart.   She and I had relationship issues, but she was my mom.  She knew me better than anyone on the planet, even my amazing husband.  And we never got to heal those issues.  And after she died, I finally allowed myself to be mad at her for what was missing in our relationship.  So much so that for many years I didn't even want to mourn.  I knew that allowing myself to have those feelings would be the only way to begin to move past them.  And then this past Mother's Day, for the very first time, I missed her achingly.  Just writing about her now has me wiping tears away.  I am 38 (almost 39) and still, sometimes, life gets overwhelming and I want my mom.  And truthfully, although I cannot have her back in this earthly life, I have been given an amazing gift.  A gift of grace.  A gift from God.  And that gift is my Aunt Eileen.

She is mentoring me.  She is teaching me to be harder on myself in healthy ways, in ways that matter, and to be kinder to myself and the world around me.  She is teaching me to be more aware of my relationship with myself, with my children, with my husband, and with my Heavenly Father.  She is actively cheering and guiding me as I exercise and revamp my entire eating philosophy.  She is directing me toward taking charge in a no more excuses kind of way of the things in my life that I have identified as lacking. She is filling that mom sized hole in my heart.  And for that, I cannot thank her enough.

I can do this though:

She has asked me to be more aware of my blessings, and to focus on the things I am grateful for. So, for the rest of this month, every day, I will post a new "Grateful for" on my blog each day.  There are many, many gratefuls in my life, but today, I will start with her.


I am grateful for my Aunt Eileen.  I am grateful for the guidance she is giving me, for the time she is investing in me, and for the lessons she is sending my way.  I am grateful for our renewed relationship, and that she loves me enough to stand up to me and for me. I am grateful that she is helping me to heal that hole-- that missing piece.  So today, Aunt Eileen, my first grateful is you.  From the very bottom of my heart, thank you so, so much.