Time for beddy-bye

So, I'm posting this at 2:47 am. I have no idea why I'm awake, although the late hour may have something to do with what I'm about to share with you. There's this web site about things overheard in NY. It's so funny that I have to share some of my favorites. So, here's my first post of the New Year...

Things overheard in my great hometown:

I'd Rather Imagine the Messiah Than Meet Him

College kid #1: I want to see the Messiah.
College kid #2: Like, actually? Or Handel?
College kid #1: ... Handel.


We Really Want an Amendment to Protect This?

Wife: Well, we need to hurry. They're waiting downstairs.
Husband: Well, I was ready to go ages ago. I'm hot, tired, and my rash is spreading.

--Macy's

Despicable, but Cute

Hipster chick #1: She calls him 'Mango,' and I have no clue why.
Hipster chick #2: Maybe because he looks mangolian?
Hipster chick #1: Mongolian? Like, the retards?
Hipster chick #2: Yeah, that's what I meant.
Hipster chick #1: Oh, well, then that's kind of cute.

--Penn Station

NYC Rules Require Me to Mess with You

Blonde tourist #1: I think we have plenty of time before our train leaves. What time is it?
Blonde tourist #2: I have no idea. My cell phone is dead. [To passing suit] Um, sir? Do you know what time it is?
Suit, rolling his eyes up at huge clock, then at blondes: Nope.

It's Rain with DNA

Woman #1: Is it just me, or is it starting to rain?
Woman #2: No, someone probably spat on you.

--W 35th St

Wine's Not Bad, Either

NYU boy #1: The French used to be all militaristic, like, back in the time of Napoleon.
NYU boy #2: Yeah, but now they're just all about wine and cheese.
NYU boy #1: Yeah... Cheese is good, though.
NYU boy #2: True, very true.

--Silver Center, NYU


Jason's World Gets Unpleasantly Rocked

Man #1: Dude, Van Halen rocks!
Man #2: Um, that's not Van Halen.
Man #1: What?!

--Men's room, Jethro Tull concert

Just When You Thought People Were Finished Calling Chelsea Clinton a Dog...

Woman: How dare you?! How dare you?! How can you say that? How can you tell my child I don't love him? Apologize! Apologize!
Man: It's a dog.
Woman: How dare you?! Apologize right now!

--Tower Records, E 4th & Lafayette

Yeah, We've Got That

Employee: Welcome to Staples! Can I help you find something?
Lucky guy: Yeah, actually -- staples.

--Staples, Union Square