January Dinner Calendar plus BIG life lessons

This is a lengthy post, but here's a dangling carrot to get you through - there's a great Adam quote shortly before the end. Please know that I am not trying to force my views on anyone. I hope you'll read this because I'm sharing a piece of who I am, but know that I write about who I am - not who I think anyone else should be. And I'm writing this because this blog is for my posterity. I'm not a good journal keeper, but by keeping this blog I'm taking a step in the right direction. So here goes...

My dear sweet friend Michele often wonders how I do this - how do I balance Frankie's extensive needs, the needs of Adam, the needs of Thomas, and have a newborn, oh yeah and a home and a marriage and a sense of self? How do I cope day to day?

Well, that's the answer - I have found that for the most part I do exactly that - cope day to day. I try not to make too many long range plans, and try to plan for tomorrow...tonight. We pack the diaper bag at night. We lay out our clothes for the next day at night. We plan our school lessons at night. We set out tomorrow night's dinner ingredients to defrost at night. I go to the grocery store at night. Soon, I'll be making tomorrow's lunches at night. This is all pretty new to us, and we're not perfect at it, but we are doing our level best and have to be satisfied with that.

Here are a few more of my coping skills:

The dinner calendar and anything else that helps me feel organized honestly make a huge difference. And Michael makes a huge difference - I could absolutely not do any of this without him. I have no idea how single mothers manage. I really don't. And I cope because I have amazing friends who seem to know exactly when to bring dinner and/or listening ears to my table. I let go of the idea that my house has to be clean and perfect. For now, I've even let go of the notion that our individual daily clothing choices have to work well together. I'm learning to let go - but I'm doing so because I know I need to, and I know I'll be able to reclaim some of my standards later. And frankly, those that I don't reclaim, I won't reclaim for a reason.

We live in a time of enormous expectations - people expect themselves to have the best car, the nicest home, a perfect picture of a perfect life. I've bought into all of it. I am a covetous person. I wish I weren't and I'm trying to teach myself not to be. I covet that other people have a baby girl and I don't. I covet that you are better at keeping your house clean than I am. I covet your relatively newer car. I tend to look at the best of what everyone else has and compare it with the worst things in my life. It's horribly detrimental because I really do need the lesson of being happy with what I have because I really am so incredibly blessed. And I have learned that I am so far from unique in this - which I why I share it in such a public place. Because someone else who reads these words should remember this and know they aren't alone. Not long ago, on Facebook I posted the following:

"None are exempt from hard times and not are exempt from better days. Do not envy another's blessings unless you covet their trials as well."

Funny how I've never wished for someone else's trials instead of my own.

One of my all time favorite quotes reminds me of why it's important to have appropriate expectations:

"Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he has been robbed. The fact is that most putts don't drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to be just people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, and most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is just like an old time rail journey ... delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders, and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed. The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride."

-Gordon B. Hinckley

I am learning (with a little reluctance and resistance) to lower my expectations.

Mostly though I make it through each day because I have faith -- faith makes the biggest difference of all. I am able to stay hopeful and positive because of that faith. I wholeheartedly believe that the good Lord would not entrust me with these precious children if He didn't believe that I could be worthy of that trust. What I do with that trust is up to me, but knowing that He trusted me enough to put these precious souls into our imperfect hands - that gets me through.

It's more than His trust in me though - it's reciprocal. My faith and trust in Him gets me through. When all else fails - when I feel hopeless and helpless, I know there is someone watching over me. It is not His place to protect me from trials. Without trials, I could not stretch and grow. He, however, sustains me and makes my burdens lighter. He blesses me, even when I doubt Him - even when I am fearful of the unknown ahead. Even when everything around me looks like I am about to unquestionably fail, I can pray. I can trust in the promptings of His spirit, and honestly - I have NEVER once been mislead. Even when all the evidence in the world pointed me toward a horrific end, when those sweet peaceful promptings come (and thankfully they always have), I can rely on my past experiences (how I wish I could rely solely on faith) and TRUST.

This is a true fact that I have learned:

When facing any obstacle, you literally have only two choices:

1) Make it through

OR

2) Die.

Really, those are the only options. So since 99.999999% of the time you're going to make it through, the quality of how you do so is somewhat in your control. It's okay to take a short amount of time to mourn the loss of whatever change is taking place. But pick yourself up and move on. People do it every day, and they amaze me.

When I was 15, I attended an Outward Bound course. I had an instructor named Robyn, who gave me one of the best pieces of advice I have ever received. She said:

"You can make yourself miserable or you can make yourself strong. The amount of work is the same."

She was dead on absolutely right.

And, here's how else I get through -- my kids. My kids make me laugh. They make me cry joyous tears. They reaffirm everything about why I am doing what I am doing. Today, Adam (out of the blue) said the most amazing thing to me. My seven year old - my sweet, astute, wonderful little boy said this:

"Mom, you may not know everything, but for me you know everything I need."

Michele, and everyone else - that's how I do it. And that's why I do it.

And here's the dinner calendar - it's been done for awhile, but I haven't had time to post it. Enjoy, and as always, feel free to email me with any questions or for any recipes!