So, this year I came "
thisclose" to giving up on homeschooling. Adam was doing beautifully, but I was not. I was so frazzled from balancing life with a newborn, a VERY busy toddler, and just plain ol' everyday life. I'm pretty sure that at some point, I hit some genuine postpartum blues for the first time as a mom. I felt like I was failing everyone and in every area of my life. I wasn't suicidal, but I had bouts of fear where I felt like my kids would truly be better off without me.
Toward the end of the school year, homeschooling had really become no schooling. Adam had already taken his state-mandated tests, had done well on them, and I was burned out. Plus I didn't like the curriculum I had been using, which our state offers for free. A lot of people love it, but I didn't. It was very dry material, wasn't creative at all, and felt like I basically was just bringing the classroom home and teaching him to regurgitate material exactly the same way he'd be taught if he were enrolled in a regular public school.
Not everyone knows why I pulled him out of school in the first place. My concerns about having Adam in our public school started long before he was out of pre-school. Our school district, in particular, is mediocre at best. They are simply the most backwards-thinking, least progressive, financially mismanaged (they were $30 million in debt last year and had to lay off a bunch of teachers and aides), overwhelmed school district in Utah. It's not that our district isn't well funded. We live in a middle-class to affluent area. It's that the district is overwhelmed with the sheer number of young students they have to educate. It's Utah. Utahns tend to have more than your average number of kids.
Adam is a bright kid. I loved the public education I got in school. I figured we'd give it a try and see what happened.
Kindergarten was great. I loved his teacher, Mrs. Gaisford. I was the room mom, and got to see her teaching style, rapport with the kids, and communication skills firsthand. I was so pleased. Then we hit first grade. The first half of first grade was okay. Things were going relatively smoothly, but I wondered why my son's friends were getting homework and learning Spanish, while my son seemed to basically be in AP Kindergarten. I was the room mom in this class too. The teacher was really sweet - honestly a kind, well-intentioned lady. This classroom was missing the zing of Mrs. Gaisford's class. The atmosphere was just blah. It was palpable - the kids just weren't enthusiastic about school they way they had been a few months earlier in kindergarten. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, something changed for Adam. He started dreading going to school.
We questioned him. Nothing was wrong socially. He liked his teacher. He had friends. He didn't have issues with any of the other students. The work wasn't too hard. He just didn't want to go. "I wanna stay home with you, mommy." My heartstrings were tugged hard. I was at a loss as to how to help him. I knew he'd endured significant changes within our home life in the previous several months. Thomas had been born, has spent a week in the Level Two Nursery, and then came home on oxygen. Frankie came home after two years in residential treatment. Adam had gone from being the only child to the one of three who needed the least amount of time and attention. I involved the school counselor. He offered Adam little prizes he could earn by coming to school.
Separation anxiety alone would not have been enough for me to pull Adam out of school, though sometimes I think it should have been. I did start researching homeschooling, but it was more of a novel idea. I felt there was value in having him work through these feelings. Then we met with his teacher for April parent-teacher conference. Ugh.
"Here's Adam's letter grade in Language Arts," she said, pointing to an "i" on a range of "a-i" (whatever that means). "Really, he's actually reading up here," she said pointing to a range of letters somewhere further down the line, "but I can't grade him that high." She also couldn't teach him on his ability level. Even though he was in the "advanced" reading group, that was the best she could do.
Then she mentioned that Adam seemed to have trouble focusing in class. A few things flashed through my mind. First, at the time, he was six years old. It makes sense to me that a six year-old does not have a lot of ability to focus. Second, he's always been a methodical worker. He just takes his time. Third, if he's working below his level, he might be a little bored. I asked her (already knowing the answer was no) if she thought he might have ADHD. She readily replied that he might. Give me a break. I know ADHD. Frankie has it. I've tended kids that have it. If Adam had it, I would have no problem putting him on meds. It's a treatable condition. What he had was a teacher that wasn't reaching him.
That was that. We knew we couldn't afford private school. He was already wait-listed for our local charter schools. We didn't (and still don't) like our school district's advanced learner's program. So we talked about it, prayed about it, researched it a little more, and pulled Adam out of school the next week.
My friend Cara and I went to a teacher supply store and bought curriculum. We set up a schoolroom in her house. We started to teach. Thomas made it difficult, but we got through several lessons. I made sure Adam learned the math skills that were left to learn in first grade, and we called it good. I didn't worry too much about Language Arts since he was already a year ahead.
I signed Adam up for K-12, a free homeschooling curriculum offered by another school district.
I was excited for the new school year. I started teaching. And I learned that I hated the K-12 curriculum. I was stuck. I couldn't back out or I'd owe money to the school district. So, we bumbled along, teaching what needed to be learned, and were pretty bored. This wasn't fun. Oh, and surprise (!) I was pregnant again.
After Max was born in December, we took a little time off. We still taught, but it was sporadic and undisciplined. I was disappointed in myself. I was just teaching him what any school could teach him. The visions of field trips and creative thinking never manifested. I was exhausted, overwhelmed, and rapidly becoming depressed.
And the hospital stay for the pulmonary embolism didn't help either.
And then, just when I truly needed it most, help arrived.
First...on a whim, I looked up an old friend, Amy, and found her blog. (See the ever inspiring Napiers in my blog links.) She was homeschooling her kids and doing amazing things. I wondered how she'd gotten all of her creative ideas. She had hamburgers for organizing paragraphs (the top bun is the subject line, tomato, lettuce, and burger are the supporting statements, and the bottom bun is the conclusion), pioneer dinners (complete with live music, costumes, and pioneer food), wax museums, and all kinds of fascinating little teaching projects. I was so impressed. And I felt even more inadequate. Her kids were just a little older than mine, and she lived in this tiny town. I was so intimidated. I had no idea how she did it. I actually had to work up the nerve to call her and ask her how she came up with such amazing curriculum. She told me she got it from her state's distance education program. Now, I will tell you that she does an above and beyond job with what they give her. She really does. Not everybody who has the same curriculum goes to the same extent that she does to make magic in her schoolroom.
And in March, I ordered that curriculum. (www.movingbeyondthepage.com)
Second, and Third (because they basically happened simultaneously) I found Devin and Sherry.
Devin is our nanny, and my saving grace. She is the reason I have time to write this blog entry. We trade free room and board for four hours of nanny time, four days a week. She is the reason I haven't been institutionalized. She is heaven-sent. Devin is my dear friend Cara's cousin. She had need of a new place to live, and we had need of her services.
Sherry was an acquaintance. We had been in the same ward (or congregation) when we first moved to Herriman. I belonged to an online homeschooling group, and I would occasionally see her posts. I had always thought she was a sweet person but I never really had occasion to get to know her. Then she posted an inquiry about that
beloved K-12 curriculum. She wanted to know if anyone had used it and what they had thought. There were a bevy of enthusiastic responses. It seemed everybody (but me) adored K-12. I emailed her privately and told her what I thought. Then I invited her to peruse the curriculum I had just bought. She looked it over, and we decided to form a homeschooling co-op.
She teaches while I watch my little ones and (when he lets me) her youngest. Then we switch and I teach while she watches the younger ones. We trade off who makes lunch each day, and we have recess. We also teach Cara's son, Conner. The kids get the benefit of socialization, and we get to feel like we're accomplishing something -- because we are.
What I LOVE about Moving Beyond the Page is that it's concept-based. Language Arts, Science, and Social Studies all focus on the same concept. If we study weather, we study it from a scientific perspective, a social studies perspective, and we read literature that's themed around weather and its effect on the characters. Everything ties together. The other thing I love is that it's so creative. We wrapped up our chapter on weather by having the kids record their own weather reports. They picked a city, researched it, reported on the weather conditions in the area, as well as made suggestions for what to eat, do, and wear in their city given the current conditions. Then we gathered all of the families together and watched the video. The kids were so excited to see themselves on TV. The videos were cute, funny, and as unique as each kid.
For math, we've found a website called smarttutor.com that teaches math concepts to Adam using fun and interactive games and videos.
There are still so many struggles that I'm trying to overcome. My house is still too messy. My laundry is still too mountainous. I haven't gotten to the gym yet. I'm working on it though. God works miracles. He brought us together with Amy, Devin, and Sherry, and reintroduced me to my friend sanity.
And I am in love with homeschooling again. And I have been reminded that God is truly a God of miracles. What an amazing lesson for me!
I don't know if we'll homeschool next year. We'll take the decision year by year. I still plan on sending Thomas to kindergarten at the very least ('cause he's a very busy boy and I don't want to lose touch with my dear friend sanity ever again). I do know that right now, I am doing what's best for my family. That's an amazing thing to know.
Welcome to my little one-room schoolhouse. Who knew there were such great lessons for me there too!
Line a springform cake tin with greaseproof paper. Crush the biscuits into crumbs. This takes a few seconds in the food processor, but if you don’t have one you can put them in a sealed plastic sandwich bag and wallop the bejesus out of them with a rolling pin. Melt the butter and combine with the crumbs until you have a stiff paste. Mould the paste in the bottom of the tin until you have a flan base with shallow sides. Don’t worry about being too tidy; you’ll be covering the base up in a while.Put the cake tin in the fridge for about an hour to harden.
