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Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Monday, August 16, 2010
Lemon Suckers
Adam got in trouble today.
His room was a disaster. It has been a disaster for awhile and he had a deadline he needed to meet before getting toys, books, and games removed from his room. He didn't meet it. We extended the deadline. He didn't meet it again. We explained that since he was having such a tough time taking care of his belongings that we are going to take care of them for him. He can earn his toys, games, and books back by taking good care of his clothing. He's understandably very upset.
"Adam," I said, "I'm sorry that you're sad. It's too bad that you played instead of cleaning your room like you were supposed to."
He looked at me with his little tear-filled eyes and said, "I'm not sad."
"You're not?" I asked, surprised.
"No," he said, "I"m super duper lemon looper hoppin' boppin' never stoppin' sad."
Call me a sucker, but laughing as quietly as I could, I gave him a final 30 minute extension. I really hope he gets it done. Super duper lemon looper hoppin' boppin' never stoppin' sad is way sadder than I ever want my baby to be.
His room was a disaster. It has been a disaster for awhile and he had a deadline he needed to meet before getting toys, books, and games removed from his room. He didn't meet it. We extended the deadline. He didn't meet it again. We explained that since he was having such a tough time taking care of his belongings that we are going to take care of them for him. He can earn his toys, games, and books back by taking good care of his clothing. He's understandably very upset.
"Adam," I said, "I'm sorry that you're sad. It's too bad that you played instead of cleaning your room like you were supposed to."
He looked at me with his little tear-filled eyes and said, "I'm not sad."
"You're not?" I asked, surprised.
"No," he said, "I"m super duper lemon looper hoppin' boppin' never stoppin' sad."
Call me a sucker, but laughing as quietly as I could, I gave him a final 30 minute extension. I really hope he gets it done. Super duper lemon looper hoppin' boppin' never stoppin' sad is way sadder than I ever want my baby to be.
Sunday, August 15, 2010
Terrible, Teriffic, Terrifying Two!
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Thomas is turning two this week (Thursday, August 19th, to be exact). With most babies, it seems as if the space between birthdays happens in the blink of an eye. With Thomas, it's hard to believe that he's only just now turning two. Behaviorally, he's already been VERY two for several months.
That being said, it's such an incredible gift to watch a toddler grow and learn. Their little sponge brains absorb so much information so quickly! Every day, in small ways, we can see Thomas changing from a toddler to a little boy. He's always had a lot of personality, but now he's evolving into someone with definite likes and dislikes, and the clear ability to say "no."
He's developed a real preference for Blue's Clues. We like this because we know it's far superior to many of the other shows he could have developed his first obsession with. With Adam we had to endure Dora (ick), and even worse, Boohbah (ick, ick, not enough icks in the world, ick). We steer (and steered) clear of cloyingly sickly-sweet Barney too. All in all, Blue's Clues isn't the worst choice he could have made. As parents, we obviously are heavily exposed to whatever show du jour with which our children are enamored. Since we have to overhear it anyway, it's always nice when the show is tolerable, and even better when it caters somewhat to adults as well as children (i.e. Sesame Street and VeggieTales).
He definitely has his other favorites. He loves noodles (noo-doos) of any kind. If I'm drinking a soda, he must have some too. He really wants to learn how to play Wii, and loves being large and in charge. He gets a big kick out of banging on our piano, even applauding for himself and shouting when he plays. He tries very hard to escape from the safety of the gated living room. He's even succeeded a few times by strategically placing toys near the gate, climbing on them, and then vaulting himself over said gate. If he can find a pen or a marker, he will write on everything in sight, himself included.
This child is all boy. I've seen a decorative vinyl wall decal that says defines him perfectly. It says this:
That is our Thomas. He's loud, he's fearless, and he's busy. When we tell him not to do something, he backs away from us, grins, and does it anyway. Scarily for us, he seems to be missing his self-preservation gene. Even our pediatrician (who certainly has seen a lot of kids over time) looked at him during one office visit (where I thought he was actually being relatively calm) and remarked, "I don't know, Kristin. I worry about this one." We do too, to be frank. We worry that he's going to be that child who, at best, winds up on America's Funniest Home Videos as the kid who jumped off the roof using a garbage bag for a parachute and, at worst, winds up in the E.R. with oft-fractured limbs.
He beats Adam up on a regular basis. In fact, we have to teach Adam to stand up to his little brother! Thomas kicks him, pinches him, bites him, and/or hits him on a daily basis. Of course we reprimand such behavior, but it makes no difference. We have faith that as his cognitive skills grow that he will eventually put "hitting" and "wrong" together, but for now we have to teach Adam to move away and not just stand there and take it.
Perhaps that is why we are especially delighted to see that our little rough and tumble two year-old already has a compassionate side. When Max or Adam is crying, he walks over to them and starts patting their backs. If Max is hungry, he tries to feed him a bottle. It's not unusual for him to volunteer a "ya you" (love you) to Max and then lean down and plant a kiss on him. Sometimes he even holds his hand. We're pretty sure they knew each other before they came to our family. It's almost as if he pre-mortally promised his little brother that he'd make sure Max joined us as quickly as possible once Thomas left his side.
One of the coolest things though, is watching his vocabulary increase on a daily basis. "Blue's Clues (boo boo), drink (diiink), please (pease), thank you (ta you), love you (ya you), bottle (ba-ull), and clean (keen) are some of his newest words and phrases. Clean is interesting because it comes with him grabbing a baby wipe and cleaning random surfaces.
Of all his new words and phrases though, our very favorite was spoken yesterday for the first time. We had just gotten Max down for a nap, and Thomas accidentally woke him up. Looking over at his screaming brother, he turned to us and sweetly said, "I saw-ee. I saw-ee." It brings tears to my eyes just to think about it. My little Tasmanian toddler said "sorry" for upsetting his baby brother. I honestly had no idea that he could even begin to understand a concept as big as accountability, let alone couple it with compassion.
That little "sorry" was one of my most precious and treasured parenting experiences. It was a way for me to know that despite the fact that Thomas alarms me with his "I'll climb anything" fearlessness, and his innate sense of "biting is a fine way to get things done," there is a tender, sweet, compassionate, loving little boy behind those mischievous eyes.
There are certain to be many worrisome experiences ahead with my charming little guy. Thank goodness for these moments of sweet validation. A little bit goes a long way, and I have a feeling with this one, we're going to need every moment we can get.
Happy Birthday Thomas John Cazier Hooten. We are so grateful that you are ours, and we are so excited to be a part of your adventure!
Monday, August 9, 2010
Banoffee Pie ... Take Three
Banoffee Pie Review--
I had a feeling that I wasn't going to like the refrigerated version of what is essentially a graham cracker pie crust. I went ahead and made this pie the traditional way because I always want to start with the classic before modifying a recipe. So here's what I learned:
The crust - should have been baked. Despite the note below about graham crackers not quite being the same, I think they'd make a perfectly acceptable substitute. If you weren't British or used to the slightly less sweet flavor of digestive biscuits you really wouldn't notice a difference. I would bake this crust as I would a graham cracker crust - at 375 degrees for about 10 minutes or until golden brown. If you simply mix the ingredients and refrigerate the crust (per the original recipe) you get a very crumbly almost choke-on-it dry crust.
The "toffee" - which is really nothing more than dulce de leche or caramelized canned milk. I used canned dulce de leche. I think it has a metallic flavor. Next time I would try actually slow cooking the condensed milk, and I would add 2-3 Tbsp of brown sugar to intensify the flavor.
The bananas - were bananas. Nothing to change.
The whipped cream topping - fresh whipped cream is always delicious. I might try it with cool whip just to see if tastes better with the flavor profile of the cake.
The shaved chocolate - good. Chocolate always good. I would add Heath bits as well.
So there you have it - Banoffee pie with my modifications. Still a decent pie, but I'm a much bigger fan of the Upside Down Apple Pie previously mentioned here.
Until next time...
I had a feeling that I wasn't going to like the refrigerated version of what is essentially a graham cracker pie crust. I went ahead and made this pie the traditional way because I always want to start with the classic before modifying a recipe. So here's what I learned:
The crust - should have been baked. Despite the note below about graham crackers not quite being the same, I think they'd make a perfectly acceptable substitute. If you weren't British or used to the slightly less sweet flavor of digestive biscuits you really wouldn't notice a difference. I would bake this crust as I would a graham cracker crust - at 375 degrees for about 10 minutes or until golden brown. If you simply mix the ingredients and refrigerate the crust (per the original recipe) you get a very crumbly almost choke-on-it dry crust.
The "toffee" - which is really nothing more than dulce de leche or caramelized canned milk. I used canned dulce de leche. I think it has a metallic flavor. Next time I would try actually slow cooking the condensed milk, and I would add 2-3 Tbsp of brown sugar to intensify the flavor.
The bananas - were bananas. Nothing to change.
The whipped cream topping - fresh whipped cream is always delicious. I might try it with cool whip just to see if tastes better with the flavor profile of the cake.
The shaved chocolate - good. Chocolate always good. I would add Heath bits as well.
So there you have it - Banoffee pie with my modifications. Still a decent pie, but I'm a much bigger fan of the Upside Down Apple Pie previously mentioned here.
Until next time...
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
I know what I'm indulging in tomorrow...
Until next time...
UPDATE: I found a recipe I like better - and it's easier...
For one pie, you’ll need:
20 digestive biscuits (these are wheat crackers that are slightly sweetened - you can sub graham crackers but they're not quite the same)
3 rounded tablespoons butter
1 tin dulce de leche (I'm going to an international pantry store to get this but you can make it by following the toffee instructions in the recipe below)
5 bananas
Cream for pouring (I'll make whipped cream)
Line a springform cake tin with greaseproof paper. Crush the biscuits into crumbs. This takes a few seconds in the food processor, but if you don’t have one you can put them in a sealed plastic sandwich bag and wallop the bejesus out of them with a rolling pin. Melt the butter and combine with the crumbs until you have a stiff paste. Mould the paste in the bottom of the tin until you have a flan base with shallow sides. Don’t worry about being too tidy; you’ll be covering the base up in a while.Put the cake tin in the fridge for about an hour to harden.
When the pie crust is nice and solid, remove it from the cake tin and spread a whole tin of cooled dulce de leche on the base. Top this with chopped, fresh bananas. Pour over gouts of cream and serve.
http://www.gastronomydomine.com/?p=451
Original post below:
or later today, since technically it's already tomorrow.
Mmmmmmmmm.
UPDATE: I found a recipe I like better - and it's easier...
For one pie, you’ll need:
20 digestive biscuits (these are wheat crackers that are slightly sweetened - you can sub graham crackers but they're not quite the same)
3 rounded tablespoons butter
1 tin dulce de leche (I'm going to an international pantry store to get this but you can make it by following the toffee instructions in the recipe below)
5 bananas
Cream for pouring (I'll make whipped cream)
Line a springform cake tin with greaseproof paper. Crush the biscuits into crumbs. This takes a few seconds in the food processor, but if you don’t have one you can put them in a sealed plastic sandwich bag and wallop the bejesus out of them with a rolling pin. Melt the butter and combine with the crumbs until you have a stiff paste. Mould the paste in the bottom of the tin until you have a flan base with shallow sides. Don’t worry about being too tidy; you’ll be covering the base up in a while.Put the cake tin in the fridge for about an hour to harden.When the pie crust is nice and solid, remove it from the cake tin and spread a whole tin of cooled dulce de leche on the base. Top this with chopped, fresh bananas. Pour over gouts of cream and serve.
http://www.gastronomydomine.com/?p=451
Original post below:
or later today, since technically it's already tomorrow.
Mmmmmmmmm.
Banoffee Pie
Serves8
- Active time:30 min
- Start to finish:3 1/2 hr
January 2005
This pie, an easy take on toffee with bananas (hence the name), made its debut at The Hungry Monk, a pub in England, in 1972. Traditional recipes involve boiling unopened cans of condensed milk, but since that sometimes results in explosions, we thought you might prefer our method.
- 2 cups canned sweetened condensed milk (21 oz)
- 1 (9-inch) round of refrigerated pie dough (from 15-oz package)
- 3 large bananas
- 1 1/2 cups chilled heavy cream
- 1 tablespoon packed light brown sugar
-
Special equipment:
a 9-inch pie plate (preferably deep dish)
-
Put oven rack in middle position and preheat oven to 425°F. -
Pour condensed milk into pie plate and stir in a generous pinch of salt. Cover pie plate with foil and crimp foil tightly around rim. Put in a roasting pan, then add enough boiling-hot water to reach halfway up side of pie plate, making sure that foil is above water. Bake, refilling pan to halfway with water about every 40 minutes, until milk is thick and a deep golden caramel color, about 2 hours. Remove pie plate from water bath and transfer toffee to a bowl, then chill toffee, uncovered, until it is cold, about 1 hour. -
While toffee is chilling, clean pie plate and bake piecrust in it according to package instructions. Cool piecrust completely in pan on a rack, about 20 minutes. -
Spread toffee evenly in crust, and chill, uncovered, 15 minutes. -
Cut bananas into 1/4-inch-thick slices and pile over toffee. -
Beat cream with brown sugar in a clean bowl with an electric mixer until it just holds soft peaks, then mound over top of pie.
Cooks’ notes:
http://www.gourmet.com/recipes/2000s/2005/01/banoffeepie
- Toffee can be chilled up to 2 days (cover after 1 hour).
- Toffee-filled crust can be chilled up to 3 hours.
http://www.gourmet.com/recipes/2000s/2005/01/banoffeepie
Monday, August 2, 2010
Two posts, one day
So, be sure to read the other post if you want to learn about our adventures in homeschooling, but this was too funny to not post:
Adam has a bad habit. He chews on the collars of his shirts. It is unsanitary, unsightly (because of the enormous wet bib of drool on his shirt), and all around unacceptable. We've been working on it. We started with having him remove his shirt when he does it, as a reminder not to do it. We've done that twice. The second time was about an hour before this writing.
He went without his shirt for a half hour. He earned his shirt back about a half hour ago. A few minutes ago, he came to me, holding his hand in front of his collar.
"Mom, is it okay if I change my shirt? I just feel like changing my shirt." Looking at the very fresh ring of wetness peeking out from behind his fingers, I said, "Adam. You just tried to fool mommy. That is not okay. You want to change your shirt because you were chewing on it." "I just want to change it," he insisted. "Adam, that was a bad choice. It is not okay to be dishonest and try to fool me. You've been chewing on your shirt and that is why you want to change it. You should not lie to me. You need to go up to your room for the rest of the night. I will bring you dinner."
Bursting into tears he wailed "I'LL JUST DIE!!!!! DON'T BRING ME DINNER. I'LL JUST STARVE TO DEATH!!!!!"
Dramatic boy. Where ever does he get his flair for drama? It eludes me. Really, it does.
I'll go up in a little bit and reassure him that he's a good boy and that he made a bad choice. I'll let him know how much we love him. And I'll be sure to give him some yummy dinner because I love him and I would never let him starve, let alone to death.
And I hope he learns - be honest with your mama. Lying never does pay.
Adam has a bad habit. He chews on the collars of his shirts. It is unsanitary, unsightly (because of the enormous wet bib of drool on his shirt), and all around unacceptable. We've been working on it. We started with having him remove his shirt when he does it, as a reminder not to do it. We've done that twice. The second time was about an hour before this writing.
He went without his shirt for a half hour. He earned his shirt back about a half hour ago. A few minutes ago, he came to me, holding his hand in front of his collar.
"Mom, is it okay if I change my shirt? I just feel like changing my shirt." Looking at the very fresh ring of wetness peeking out from behind his fingers, I said, "Adam. You just tried to fool mommy. That is not okay. You want to change your shirt because you were chewing on it." "I just want to change it," he insisted. "Adam, that was a bad choice. It is not okay to be dishonest and try to fool me. You've been chewing on your shirt and that is why you want to change it. You should not lie to me. You need to go up to your room for the rest of the night. I will bring you dinner."
Bursting into tears he wailed "I'LL JUST DIE!!!!! DON'T BRING ME DINNER. I'LL JUST STARVE TO DEATH!!!!!"
Dramatic boy. Where ever does he get his flair for drama? It eludes me. Really, it does.
I'll go up in a little bit and reassure him that he's a good boy and that he made a bad choice. I'll let him know how much we love him. And I'll be sure to give him some yummy dinner because I love him and I would never let him starve, let alone to death.
And I hope he learns - be honest with your mama. Lying never does pay.
My little one-room schoolhouse
So, this year I came "thisclose" to giving up on homeschooling. Adam was doing beautifully, but I was not. I was so frazzled from balancing life with a newborn, a VERY busy toddler, and just plain ol' everyday life. I'm pretty sure that at some point, I hit some genuine postpartum blues for the first time as a mom. I felt like I was failing everyone and in every area of my life. I wasn't suicidal, but I had bouts of fear where I felt like my kids would truly be better off without me.
Toward the end of the school year, homeschooling had really become no schooling. Adam had already taken his state-mandated tests, had done well on them, and I was burned out. Plus I didn't like the curriculum I had been using, which our state offers for free. A lot of people love it, but I didn't. It was very dry material, wasn't creative at all, and felt like I basically was just bringing the classroom home and teaching him to regurgitate material exactly the same way he'd be taught if he were enrolled in a regular public school.
Not everyone knows why I pulled him out of school in the first place. My concerns about having Adam in our public school started long before he was out of pre-school. Our school district, in particular, is mediocre at best. They are simply the most backwards-thinking, least progressive, financially mismanaged (they were $30 million in debt last year and had to lay off a bunch of teachers and aides), overwhelmed school district in Utah. It's not that our district isn't well funded. We live in a middle-class to affluent area. It's that the district is overwhelmed with the sheer number of young students they have to educate. It's Utah. Utahns tend to have more than your average number of kids.
Adam is a bright kid. I loved the public education I got in school. I figured we'd give it a try and see what happened.
Kindergarten was great. I loved his teacher, Mrs. Gaisford. I was the room mom, and got to see her teaching style, rapport with the kids, and communication skills firsthand. I was so pleased. Then we hit first grade. The first half of first grade was okay. Things were going relatively smoothly, but I wondered why my son's friends were getting homework and learning Spanish, while my son seemed to basically be in AP Kindergarten. I was the room mom in this class too. The teacher was really sweet - honestly a kind, well-intentioned lady. This classroom was missing the zing of Mrs. Gaisford's class. The atmosphere was just blah. It was palpable - the kids just weren't enthusiastic about school they way they had been a few months earlier in kindergarten. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, something changed for Adam. He started dreading going to school.
We questioned him. Nothing was wrong socially. He liked his teacher. He had friends. He didn't have issues with any of the other students. The work wasn't too hard. He just didn't want to go. "I wanna stay home with you, mommy." My heartstrings were tugged hard. I was at a loss as to how to help him. I knew he'd endured significant changes within our home life in the previous several months. Thomas had been born, has spent a week in the Level Two Nursery, and then came home on oxygen. Frankie came home after two years in residential treatment. Adam had gone from being the only child to the one of three who needed the least amount of time and attention. I involved the school counselor. He offered Adam little prizes he could earn by coming to school.
Separation anxiety alone would not have been enough for me to pull Adam out of school, though sometimes I think it should have been. I did start researching homeschooling, but it was more of a novel idea. I felt there was value in having him work through these feelings. Then we met with his teacher for April parent-teacher conference. Ugh.
"Here's Adam's letter grade in Language Arts," she said, pointing to an "i" on a range of "a-i" (whatever that means). "Really, he's actually reading up here," she said pointing to a range of letters somewhere further down the line, "but I can't grade him that high." She also couldn't teach him on his ability level. Even though he was in the "advanced" reading group, that was the best she could do.
Then she mentioned that Adam seemed to have trouble focusing in class. A few things flashed through my mind. First, at the time, he was six years old. It makes sense to me that a six year-old does not have a lot of ability to focus. Second, he's always been a methodical worker. He just takes his time. Third, if he's working below his level, he might be a little bored. I asked her (already knowing the answer was no) if she thought he might have ADHD. She readily replied that he might. Give me a break. I know ADHD. Frankie has it. I've tended kids that have it. If Adam had it, I would have no problem putting him on meds. It's a treatable condition. What he had was a teacher that wasn't reaching him.
That was that. We knew we couldn't afford private school. He was already wait-listed for our local charter schools. We didn't (and still don't) like our school district's advanced learner's program. So we talked about it, prayed about it, researched it a little more, and pulled Adam out of school the next week.
My friend Cara and I went to a teacher supply store and bought curriculum. We set up a schoolroom in her house. We started to teach. Thomas made it difficult, but we got through several lessons. I made sure Adam learned the math skills that were left to learn in first grade, and we called it good. I didn't worry too much about Language Arts since he was already a year ahead.
I signed Adam up for K-12, a free homeschooling curriculum offered by another school district.
I was excited for the new school year. I started teaching. And I learned that I hated the K-12 curriculum. I was stuck. I couldn't back out or I'd owe money to the school district. So, we bumbled along, teaching what needed to be learned, and were pretty bored. This wasn't fun. Oh, and surprise (!) I was pregnant again.
After Max was born in December, we took a little time off. We still taught, but it was sporadic and undisciplined. I was disappointed in myself. I was just teaching him what any school could teach him. The visions of field trips and creative thinking never manifested. I was exhausted, overwhelmed, and rapidly becoming depressed.
And the hospital stay for the pulmonary embolism didn't help either.
And then, just when I truly needed it most, help arrived.
First...on a whim, I looked up an old friend, Amy, and found her blog. (See the ever inspiring Napiers in my blog links.) She was homeschooling her kids and doing amazing things. I wondered how she'd gotten all of her creative ideas. She had hamburgers for organizing paragraphs (the top bun is the subject line, tomato, lettuce, and burger are the supporting statements, and the bottom bun is the conclusion), pioneer dinners (complete with live music, costumes, and pioneer food), wax museums, and all kinds of fascinating little teaching projects. I was so impressed. And I felt even more inadequate. Her kids were just a little older than mine, and she lived in this tiny town. I was so intimidated. I had no idea how she did it. I actually had to work up the nerve to call her and ask her how she came up with such amazing curriculum. She told me she got it from her state's distance education program. Now, I will tell you that she does an above and beyond job with what they give her. She really does. Not everybody who has the same curriculum goes to the same extent that she does to make magic in her schoolroom.
And in March, I ordered that curriculum. (www.movingbeyondthepage.com)
Second, and Third (because they basically happened simultaneously) I found Devin and Sherry.
Devin is our nanny, and my saving grace. She is the reason I have time to write this blog entry. We trade free room and board for four hours of nanny time, four days a week. She is the reason I haven't been institutionalized. She is heaven-sent. Devin is my dear friend Cara's cousin. She had need of a new place to live, and we had need of her services.
Sherry was an acquaintance. We had been in the same ward (or congregation) when we first moved to Herriman. I belonged to an online homeschooling group, and I would occasionally see her posts. I had always thought she was a sweet person but I never really had occasion to get to know her. Then she posted an inquiry about that beloved K-12 curriculum. She wanted to know if anyone had used it and what they had thought. There were a bevy of enthusiastic responses. It seemed everybody (but me) adored K-12. I emailed her privately and told her what I thought. Then I invited her to peruse the curriculum I had just bought. She looked it over, and we decided to form a homeschooling co-op.
She teaches while I watch my little ones and (when he lets me) her youngest. Then we switch and I teach while she watches the younger ones. We trade off who makes lunch each day, and we have recess. We also teach Cara's son, Conner. The kids get the benefit of socialization, and we get to feel like we're accomplishing something -- because we are.
What I LOVE about Moving Beyond the Page is that it's concept-based. Language Arts, Science, and Social Studies all focus on the same concept. If we study weather, we study it from a scientific perspective, a social studies perspective, and we read literature that's themed around weather and its effect on the characters. Everything ties together. The other thing I love is that it's so creative. We wrapped up our chapter on weather by having the kids record their own weather reports. They picked a city, researched it, reported on the weather conditions in the area, as well as made suggestions for what to eat, do, and wear in their city given the current conditions. Then we gathered all of the families together and watched the video. The kids were so excited to see themselves on TV. The videos were cute, funny, and as unique as each kid.
For math, we've found a website called smarttutor.com that teaches math concepts to Adam using fun and interactive games and videos.
There are still so many struggles that I'm trying to overcome. My house is still too messy. My laundry is still too mountainous. I haven't gotten to the gym yet. I'm working on it though. God works miracles. He brought us together with Amy, Devin, and Sherry, and reintroduced me to my friend sanity.
And I am in love with homeschooling again. And I have been reminded that God is truly a God of miracles. What an amazing lesson for me!
I don't know if we'll homeschool next year. We'll take the decision year by year. I still plan on sending Thomas to kindergarten at the very least ('cause he's a very busy boy and I don't want to lose touch with my dear friend sanity ever again). I do know that right now, I am doing what's best for my family. That's an amazing thing to know.
Welcome to my little one-room schoolhouse. Who knew there were such great lessons for me there too!
Toward the end of the school year, homeschooling had really become no schooling. Adam had already taken his state-mandated tests, had done well on them, and I was burned out. Plus I didn't like the curriculum I had been using, which our state offers for free. A lot of people love it, but I didn't. It was very dry material, wasn't creative at all, and felt like I basically was just bringing the classroom home and teaching him to regurgitate material exactly the same way he'd be taught if he were enrolled in a regular public school.
Not everyone knows why I pulled him out of school in the first place. My concerns about having Adam in our public school started long before he was out of pre-school. Our school district, in particular, is mediocre at best. They are simply the most backwards-thinking, least progressive, financially mismanaged (they were $30 million in debt last year and had to lay off a bunch of teachers and aides), overwhelmed school district in Utah. It's not that our district isn't well funded. We live in a middle-class to affluent area. It's that the district is overwhelmed with the sheer number of young students they have to educate. It's Utah. Utahns tend to have more than your average number of kids.
Adam is a bright kid. I loved the public education I got in school. I figured we'd give it a try and see what happened.
Kindergarten was great. I loved his teacher, Mrs. Gaisford. I was the room mom, and got to see her teaching style, rapport with the kids, and communication skills firsthand. I was so pleased. Then we hit first grade. The first half of first grade was okay. Things were going relatively smoothly, but I wondered why my son's friends were getting homework and learning Spanish, while my son seemed to basically be in AP Kindergarten. I was the room mom in this class too. The teacher was really sweet - honestly a kind, well-intentioned lady. This classroom was missing the zing of Mrs. Gaisford's class. The atmosphere was just blah. It was palpable - the kids just weren't enthusiastic about school they way they had been a few months earlier in kindergarten. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, something changed for Adam. He started dreading going to school.
We questioned him. Nothing was wrong socially. He liked his teacher. He had friends. He didn't have issues with any of the other students. The work wasn't too hard. He just didn't want to go. "I wanna stay home with you, mommy." My heartstrings were tugged hard. I was at a loss as to how to help him. I knew he'd endured significant changes within our home life in the previous several months. Thomas had been born, has spent a week in the Level Two Nursery, and then came home on oxygen. Frankie came home after two years in residential treatment. Adam had gone from being the only child to the one of three who needed the least amount of time and attention. I involved the school counselor. He offered Adam little prizes he could earn by coming to school.
Separation anxiety alone would not have been enough for me to pull Adam out of school, though sometimes I think it should have been. I did start researching homeschooling, but it was more of a novel idea. I felt there was value in having him work through these feelings. Then we met with his teacher for April parent-teacher conference. Ugh.
"Here's Adam's letter grade in Language Arts," she said, pointing to an "i" on a range of "a-i" (whatever that means). "Really, he's actually reading up here," she said pointing to a range of letters somewhere further down the line, "but I can't grade him that high." She also couldn't teach him on his ability level. Even though he was in the "advanced" reading group, that was the best she could do.
Then she mentioned that Adam seemed to have trouble focusing in class. A few things flashed through my mind. First, at the time, he was six years old. It makes sense to me that a six year-old does not have a lot of ability to focus. Second, he's always been a methodical worker. He just takes his time. Third, if he's working below his level, he might be a little bored. I asked her (already knowing the answer was no) if she thought he might have ADHD. She readily replied that he might. Give me a break. I know ADHD. Frankie has it. I've tended kids that have it. If Adam had it, I would have no problem putting him on meds. It's a treatable condition. What he had was a teacher that wasn't reaching him.
That was that. We knew we couldn't afford private school. He was already wait-listed for our local charter schools. We didn't (and still don't) like our school district's advanced learner's program. So we talked about it, prayed about it, researched it a little more, and pulled Adam out of school the next week.
My friend Cara and I went to a teacher supply store and bought curriculum. We set up a schoolroom in her house. We started to teach. Thomas made it difficult, but we got through several lessons. I made sure Adam learned the math skills that were left to learn in first grade, and we called it good. I didn't worry too much about Language Arts since he was already a year ahead.
I signed Adam up for K-12, a free homeschooling curriculum offered by another school district.
I was excited for the new school year. I started teaching. And I learned that I hated the K-12 curriculum. I was stuck. I couldn't back out or I'd owe money to the school district. So, we bumbled along, teaching what needed to be learned, and were pretty bored. This wasn't fun. Oh, and surprise (!) I was pregnant again.
After Max was born in December, we took a little time off. We still taught, but it was sporadic and undisciplined. I was disappointed in myself. I was just teaching him what any school could teach him. The visions of field trips and creative thinking never manifested. I was exhausted, overwhelmed, and rapidly becoming depressed.
And the hospital stay for the pulmonary embolism didn't help either.
And then, just when I truly needed it most, help arrived.
First...on a whim, I looked up an old friend, Amy, and found her blog. (See the ever inspiring Napiers in my blog links.) She was homeschooling her kids and doing amazing things. I wondered how she'd gotten all of her creative ideas. She had hamburgers for organizing paragraphs (the top bun is the subject line, tomato, lettuce, and burger are the supporting statements, and the bottom bun is the conclusion), pioneer dinners (complete with live music, costumes, and pioneer food), wax museums, and all kinds of fascinating little teaching projects. I was so impressed. And I felt even more inadequate. Her kids were just a little older than mine, and she lived in this tiny town. I was so intimidated. I had no idea how she did it. I actually had to work up the nerve to call her and ask her how she came up with such amazing curriculum. She told me she got it from her state's distance education program. Now, I will tell you that she does an above and beyond job with what they give her. She really does. Not everybody who has the same curriculum goes to the same extent that she does to make magic in her schoolroom.
And in March, I ordered that curriculum. (www.movingbeyondthepage.com)
Second, and Third (because they basically happened simultaneously) I found Devin and Sherry.
Devin is our nanny, and my saving grace. She is the reason I have time to write this blog entry. We trade free room and board for four hours of nanny time, four days a week. She is the reason I haven't been institutionalized. She is heaven-sent. Devin is my dear friend Cara's cousin. She had need of a new place to live, and we had need of her services.
Sherry was an acquaintance. We had been in the same ward (or congregation) when we first moved to Herriman. I belonged to an online homeschooling group, and I would occasionally see her posts. I had always thought she was a sweet person but I never really had occasion to get to know her. Then she posted an inquiry about that beloved K-12 curriculum. She wanted to know if anyone had used it and what they had thought. There were a bevy of enthusiastic responses. It seemed everybody (but me) adored K-12. I emailed her privately and told her what I thought. Then I invited her to peruse the curriculum I had just bought. She looked it over, and we decided to form a homeschooling co-op.
She teaches while I watch my little ones and (when he lets me) her youngest. Then we switch and I teach while she watches the younger ones. We trade off who makes lunch each day, and we have recess. We also teach Cara's son, Conner. The kids get the benefit of socialization, and we get to feel like we're accomplishing something -- because we are.
What I LOVE about Moving Beyond the Page is that it's concept-based. Language Arts, Science, and Social Studies all focus on the same concept. If we study weather, we study it from a scientific perspective, a social studies perspective, and we read literature that's themed around weather and its effect on the characters. Everything ties together. The other thing I love is that it's so creative. We wrapped up our chapter on weather by having the kids record their own weather reports. They picked a city, researched it, reported on the weather conditions in the area, as well as made suggestions for what to eat, do, and wear in their city given the current conditions. Then we gathered all of the families together and watched the video. The kids were so excited to see themselves on TV. The videos were cute, funny, and as unique as each kid.
For math, we've found a website called smarttutor.com that teaches math concepts to Adam using fun and interactive games and videos.
There are still so many struggles that I'm trying to overcome. My house is still too messy. My laundry is still too mountainous. I haven't gotten to the gym yet. I'm working on it though. God works miracles. He brought us together with Amy, Devin, and Sherry, and reintroduced me to my friend sanity.
And I am in love with homeschooling again. And I have been reminded that God is truly a God of miracles. What an amazing lesson for me!
I don't know if we'll homeschool next year. We'll take the decision year by year. I still plan on sending Thomas to kindergarten at the very least ('cause he's a very busy boy and I don't want to lose touch with my dear friend sanity ever again). I do know that right now, I am doing what's best for my family. That's an amazing thing to know.
Welcome to my little one-room schoolhouse. Who knew there were such great lessons for me there too!
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