How you feeling? Hot! Hot! Hot!

Warning: This post contains personal details about bodily functions. If you don't want to know these things about me, stop reading now.

When I first became pregnant with Adam, I was amazed that anyone ever complained about any aspect of pregnancy. I mean, I was growing LIFE. I was consumed by this incredibly sacred knowledge, glowing with the joy of it all. I loved the purchasing of tiny baby socks and researching every baby product under the sun. Sure there was nausea (eventually), but that was just a good sign of a healthy growing fetus. Nothing (and I mean absolutely nothing) could overshadow the joys of fulfilling my purpose on earth (which, to tell you the truth I do still think is pretty amazing). I loved being pregnant. It was new and sacred and I had nothing else that was nearly as important in my life. I even found giving birth to be somewhat of a breeze compared to what I had expected. In fact, with Adam, I went in to be induced and was told that I was already in labor. I was surprised to find this out - I didn't even know I was contracting! I looked forward to my next pregnancy.

Recently, I commented to my doctor that being pregnant at 37 was a lot harder than being pregnant at 30. He told me that it had nothing to do with age - it was that subsequent pregnancies become more difficult as you go. It makes me wonder how on earth that Duggar woman can handle pregnancy. If you don't know who she is, she's the woman who has 18 kids and is pregnant with her 19th. If you want to learn more about her, their website is here:

http://www.duggarfamily.com/

So, since I'm awake anyway, I thought I would share a few very personal details. I do this in the hope that should I get baby hungry again for ANY reason, I will read and reflect upon the following and remember, with fondness, why I never wish to do this again. The children are beyond worth it, but two babies in 15 months time is quite enough, thank you!

Things I will NOT miss about being pregnant (in no particular order):

1. Night sweats. Nothing like waking up drenched in sweat in the middle of the night. Can you guess what woke me tonight?
2. Waking up with cotton mouth (thanks, night sweats)
3. Leg cramps. Waking up and dragging my cramping legs to the bathtub every two to three nights.
4. Sore legs for two or more days from said leg cramps.
5. Heartburn. Don't eat two hours before bed, yet somehow eat several mini meals throughout the day. Don't drink with your meal. Don't eat anything with onions, garlic, spice, seasoning, flavor, texture, or salt.
6. Nausea (Yes, I'm a lucky one who gets to be nauseous first AND third trimesters)
7. Constipation (When I say this one, I always seem to say it to the tune of Carly Simon's Anticipation) It's constipation whoa oh, oh - it's consti-pay-ay-shun and it's making me mad...)
8. The lack of the ability to walk more than 1 block at a time
9. Aching hips from sleeping on my side
10. Throwing up EVERY time I brush my teeth
11. Pregnancy incontinence (can't sneeze, cough, throw up, or laugh too hard)
12. Being 10 degrees hotter than everyone else and having my friends feel the need to dress as though they are headed for an arctic expedition just to come hang out with us.
13. Maternity pants - the way they slide down my body, creating that baggy gangsta look.
14. Having to climb into my SUV, rather than just hop in.
15. Rushing to the bathroom with great urgency, only to find I only had a teaspoon of liquid to expel. (aka, Max thinks my bladder is his personal trampoline, and to be fair I guess it's not like there's really that much to do in there).
16. Using the bathroom 15 times each day.
17. Seeing my doctor on a weekly basis. I mean, I like the guy, but I have better things to do than sit around his office for two hours while I wait for a five minute appointment.
18. Body smells. Why on earth do my armpits smell ten times worse when I'm pregnant? I seem to make smells when I'm pregnant that I didn't even know were possible for the human body to make. Where is that cat pee smell coming from??? Oh wait, that's not cat pee - that's me.
19. Being unable to gracefully stand up without assistance
20. Sleeping on the couch for back support. I miss being next to my husband each night.
21. Grasping for words and saying the wrong word even though I know perfectly well what I meant. (Shut the gate -- I mean door.)
22. Hormonal emotionality. 'Nuff said.

I'm willing to bet there are more, but 22 is good for tonight. Feel free to add your own in the comments.

Things I will miss about being pregnant:

1. The sacred and powerful knowledge that our Father in Heaven trusted us enough to allow us to bring one of His children to our home.
2. Baby kicks from the inside
3. The wondrous anticipation of dreaming blue or pink

That's it - only three. They are a pretty amazing three though, I must admit.

And so, to answer the question: Are you done?

As far as Michael and I are concerned, we're done. However, I don't want to do anything drastic because life is unpredictable. I would hate to do something I couldn't undo only to discover that I made a mistake. That being said, I am 37 (nearly 38) and am uninterested in having three babies under three in just over three years. I am also completely uninterested in raising teenagers in my retirement years. So unless I receive a very strong personal witness that there is another spirit waiting to join our family, I am totally good with being done. I will always be sad that I didn't get a baby girl to raise, but I will be equally grateful to never have another adolescent girl to raise. That being said, I trust my Father in Heaven with my whole heart and soul, and know that He knows what is best for our family. As for baby Sara Flora (our girl name, named after my maternal grandmother and incredible great aunt), perhaps I will be able to have her in the eternities. No matter what though, I am so grateful for the beautiful children I have, and look forward to the birth of Max Tucker Hooten, some time in the next two and a half weeks.

And so, until next time (which hopefully will be to announce the joyous news of Max's birth)...

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